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Bosie referred to Wilde as "the most chivalrous friend in the
world" and was willing to forsake his birthright for the
friendship. They exchanged letters, with some of Wilde's containing
what could be interpreted as expressions of passionate love.
"It is a marvel that those red-roseleaf lips of yours should
be made no less for the madness of music and song than for the madness
of kissing," Wilde wrote to Lord Alfred in 1893. "Your slim
gilt soul walks between passion and poetry."
Bosie was flagrantly and openly homosexual, a spendthrift and
gambler, according to Wilde's biographer, Richard Ellman. He was a
dropout at Oxford, a ne'er-do-well who was as loose with his morals as
he was with his purse. He had his family’s temper, which flared when
he didn’t get his way.
Bosie knew of Wilde's affection for him early on and succeeded in
using it to his advantage. He relied on Wilde's money when his own ran
out and would pout and threaten self-injury when Wilde complained of
his behavior or criticized his literary skills. For the length of
their relationship, Lord Alfred used Oscar's love for him as a means
to get what he wanted. In the end, Wilde sacrificed himself to protect
Lord Alfred, who remained a loyal, yet manipulative, friend.
For Wilde, who was much more low-key about his sexuality, it was a
love-hate relationship, almost akin to the moth and flame. He lusted
for Lord Alfred, but knew that Bosie would only hurt him. His head
told him the cost of Bosie's love was too expensive, his heart
considered it a bargain.
"Wilde wanted a consuming passion," Ellman wrote.
"He got it and was consumed by it."
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