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Bundy never elaborated on what that decision was. He wrote that
he took a long walk and came home reconciled to this new knowledge.
“It may have gone something like this: `I am who I am, and what I
am I owe to my Mom, Dad, Granddad and others who raised me.’
(Not necessarily profound, but not a bad beginning for a young kid.)
Why be concerned about someone I never knew? My Mom loved me
enough to give birth to me, care for me and love me. This seemed to
be more than enough.”
However, Bundy’s onetime fiancée, Liz Kendall (a pseudonym)
reported the discovery a little differently. Ted’s cousin John
taunted him about his illegitimacy, Kendall recounted in her book, Phantom
Prince. According to her, Bundy at first angrily refused
to believe his cousin, and would not believe him until John produced
the birth certificate himself. Kendall wrote that Bundy was furious
with his mother for causing him such humiliation.
Terry Storwick’s unclouded recollections probably are as
reliable as any. He is the first person with whom Ted shared his
knowledge. “Ted never told me how he discovered he was
illegitimate,” Storwick recollected. “We were in high school and
were down at my parents’ beach place talking about some personal
subject. It might have had to do with how he was arguing with his
dad. He just said, `Of course, you know that’s not my real
father.’ It was a bell ringer! A lot of things fell into place for
me right then and there. I said, ‘Well, why is your name Bundy?’
He went on to tell me that he’d been born in Philadelphia.
Very vague stuff. The rat didn’t marry his mother and such. I
think he was wondering how I was going to think about him. It seemed
to me that this was kind of like being adopted, or something. So, I
said. ‘There are people who love you now.’ I think I said
I thought it was no big deal.”
“But he said something to the effect that for him it made a big
difference. This was important to him. It wasn’t just
something to be swept under the rug. When I made light of his
situation, he said, ‘Well, it’s not you that’s a bastard.’
He was bitter when he said it.’’
Following discovery of his illegitimacy, Ted’s attitude toward
Johnnie hardened into outright defiance. “Ted’s mother loved him
very much,” Terry Storwick told us. “I’m sure that she
protected him from Johnnie’s temper. It wasn’t that Johnnie was
an unreasonable man; I think his temper was a reaction to Ted’s
animosity.”
The schism between man and boy was expressed in Ted’s sudden
refusal to call Johnnie “Dad,” after having done so for years.
He began calling Johnnie “Father,” and then, finally,
“John.” “You know, Ted was way ahead of Johnnie when it
came to intellectual things,” said Storwick. “He could just talk
him into holes in the ground, leave him no way out but to use his
body. Johnnie is a man of few and simple words, and Ted was his
match by the time he was in the sixth grade.
A couple of times I thought his dad was going to kill him. The
anger was there, you know. “Back then, John Bundy was a wiry
little sucker, well muscled. I remember one particular occasion at
their lake place. He was out cutting wood or something. Ted
was, I guess, showing off for me -- smart assin’. John took
a swing at him. If he would have connected, he would have laid
Ted flat on his ass. He had a temper as quick as Ted’s.”
The first sign of serious problems in Ted’s inner world was a
sudden and complete halt to his social development. It was a quiet
crisis, easily missed by others, but acutely perplexing, and
painful, to him. “In junior high school, everything was
fine,” he told me. “Nothing that I can recall happened that
summer before my sophomore year to stunt me, or otherwise hinder my
progress. But I got to high school and I didn’t make any
progress.” He sounded genuinely perplexed. “How can I say it?
I’m at a loss to describe it even now. Maybe I didn’t have the
role models at home that could have aided me in school. I
don’t know. But I felt alienated from my old friends. They
just seemed to move on, and I didn’t. I don’t know why, and I
don’t know if there is an explanation. Maybe it’s something that
was programmed by some kind of genetic thing. In my early schooling,
it seemed like there was no problem in learning what the appropriate
socials behaviors were. It just seemed like I hit a wall in high
school.”
I asked Bundy if he took these issues to his mother or a counselor
to discuss them. “It never crossed my mind,” he answered. “I
didn’t think anything was wrong, necessarily. I wasn’t sure what
was wrong and what was right. All I knew was that I felt a bit
different.”
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