Crime Library: Criminal Minds and Methods

Italian Facebook Prankster Forced to Eat Actual Poop

From our friends at the Daily Dot: Italian kids are giving new meaning to the phrase “eat sh** and die.” One such adolescent is currently under investigation at his Treviso boarding school for locking a former friend into a bathroom and forcing him to eat human waste and lick the bowl of a dirty porcelain toilet.

Angry Young Man Pushes Stepfather, Poops on Porch

Pasco County man Jorge Jonathan Cruz-Blanco was an angry young man. He was no longer a student, didn’t have a job and was expecting his stepfather, Kenneth Pangborn, 72, to serve him with an eviction notice at any time — so he did the logical thing, he pooped on the old man’s porch.

Arrested Jason London Allegedly Poops Himself in Squad Car

Inebriated actor Jason London was arrested on suspicion of assault with intent to injure and disorderly conduct after a fight at the Martina Ranch bar in Scottsdale, Arizona, in which he allegedly brawled with just about everyone and then pooped himself in the police cruiser.

Violent, Naked Carnie Rampages Through Florida Home Pooping and Masturbating

You might not realize it, dear readers, but we here at the Crime Library tirelessly search the Internet each day to bring you the selection of compelling cases we do. So a case like this is for us truly a gift that makes the many offenses of other drugged-out, naked perpetrators seem lackluster by comparison — not that we’re condoning any sort of competition.

Town Council Plans DNA Testing of Unscooped Dog Poop

According to the September 24, 2012, minutes of the Sundridge with Ide Hill Parish Council of Kent Parish in the UK, doggie poo printing may become a harsh reality if dog owners don’t do the right thing.

Elderly Man Arrested for Plan to Throw Manure on Prince Charles

Yugoslav immigrant and adamant anti-royalist Castislav Sam Bracanov, 74, was arrested on November 11, 2012, for planning to toss horse poop on Prince Charles in downtown Auckland, New Zealand. Bracanov pleaded not guilty to behaving suspiciously after stating that police arrested him for “sitting peacefully” with a $2 bucket of horse manure.

Drunken Man Allegedly Blows Up Portable Toilet at Concert

Canadian concert goer stands accused mischief after he allegedly filled a portable potty with gas and lit it on fire.

Man Poops His Pants to Avoid Arrest

A Louisiana man, who was pulled over for driving erratically, was drunk enough to think that if he could gross out the cops enough, they would let him go. He was wrong.

Naked Suspect Found in Bottom of Port-a-Potty

Maine police responded to a call about a man causing a disturbance at the Enman Disc Golf course in Brunswick around 6 p.m. on July 6. According to witnesses, the naked man, 29, was “rolling in mud, tipping over trash cans and sitting in the disc goals.”

Woman Attacks Unwanted Guests With Pooper Scooper

Police in Davenport, Iowa, were called to a residence after the homeowner allegedly drove two guests, who had overstayed their welcome, out of her home — with a pooper scooper. Luckily no one was injured. Police said that while the weapon was not loaded, it was still dangerous.

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