Crime Library: Criminal Minds and Methods

L.A. sheriff: ‘Please don’t call us’ when Facebook goes down

When the power goes out, you call the power company, but who do you call when Facebook goes out? Not the police, it turns out.

Listen: Florida woman calls 911 about raw waffles

A Village Inn customer called 911 last week to report having been served raw waffles. She states that her server refused to credit the bill, accused her of drinking and threatened to call police. “Well come on bring me a Breathalyzer!” she challenged, adding “I am ready! &%$$ #@!” Police sent a unit to help negotiate the confrontation.

Listen: Man calls 911 for wife’s stuck zipper

An Oregon man was so angry that the zipper was stuck on his wife’s nice jacket that he called 911 to get help removing it without cutting it off. When the stunned operator asked if the wife was not breathing he responded, “She’s alright she just can’t get her @$**&#!* jacket off, and I pissed about it!”

Florida man calls 911 because neighbors won’t drink with him

Last month lonely Massachusetts man Scott Topham, 29, of Waltham, Mass., reportedly broke into a neighbor’s home and forced him to drink vodka with him at knife point. This week a lonely birthday boy in Florida called 911 on his neighbors because they would not drink with him.

Florida woman calls 911 to report drunk people in a bar

Believe or or not, there is such a thing a being too responsible a drinker. Thanks to concerned citizen Mary Jaggers, we now have police confirmation, just in time for the weekend, that it is in fact okay for a bar to be full of drunk people.

Man Calls 911 After Prostitute Refuses to Make Change

Some guys in Indiana called 911 to send a police officer after a prostitute they hired pushed them out of a hotel room and refused to make change.

New Hampshire Woman Calls 911, Asks for a Pen

People have called 911 for all kinds of crazy reasons, from looking for a free ride, to complaining about a restaurant, to scaring their children. Most recently a woman was arrested for making a frivolous 911 call asking for a pen. It was her 11th such call in a month.

Man Calls 911 in Love Emergency

In another installment of Calling 911 Won’t Save Your Relationship a Florida man allegedly decided that the best way to keep his girlfriend from moving out is to alert the authorities. Police in Tavernier say 35-year-old Matthew Corp called 911 and said his wife had been kidnapped by two men driving a U-Haul truck. Police [...]

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