Perps arrested on charges of follicular recklessness.
A Nebraska teen, 15, reported seeing a 7-foot tall, “hairy,” bipedal creature along a country road that runs parallel to the Platte River in Saunders County, Nebraska, which is about 60 miles west of Omaha. The local Sheriff, who does not think the alleged sighting is a hoax, retrieved a hair sample from the scene, which has been sent for testing.
Newly released Jared Walter, 26, the infamous TriMet Barber of Portland, Oregon, convicted in 2010 of riding around on Portland’s TriMet bus system, and cutting the hair of unsuspecting female passengers, has launched a new public-transit-based string of assaults. Though he still likes hair, this time the assaults involve bodily fluids.