This video, with renditions of the Mission Impossible theme song and Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody on kazoo, was published by the owner of a robbed Texas electronics store, who thought the job was very unprofessional, commenting “Our store got broken into. Judging from the surveillance video the thief doesn’t seem to be highly skilled in his area.”
Early Monday morning, according to Gainesville, FL., police, Brielle Watkins was intoxicated when she drove her smashed Ford Escape, minus one whole rear tire, into the county jail, but why did she do it?
A would-be burglar attempting to rob a bar in the Chicago’s Wicker Park area was thwarted by of all things the unlocked interior door. It seems he made a critical error: He kept trying to pull open the door — which was marked push. This could explain why most burglars break and enter, rather than just …entering.
A guy who partied too hardy and walked home found this note on Herfordshire police stationery in his home the next day. It begins “We found you staggering in the road,” and is mysteriously signed, “Love from Cagney and Lacey.” He probably had no memory of the courtesy ride home he got from police.
People teach their birds to say the darnedest things. Thanks to a man in Mexico, we now know that teaching your bird phrases like He’s drunk, He’s high or He’s packin’ might get you the unwanted attention of law enforcement, the media and even the occasional snarky blogger.
In what some may consider a lawsuit that’s been a long time coming, Anthony Olatunfe, 26, is suing Unilever Nigeria Limited for “mental suffering” caused by the constant rejection of women despite his scrupulous use of Close-Up toothpaste.
Jonathan Crenshaw was arrested in Dade County Florida on January 10, 2014, for pot possession, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. The arrest record does not specify what set Crenshaw off, but he seems much feistier in the following mugshot than he does here.
English couple Kerry Leech and Mathew Heckler were out enjoying the day when they started getting texts that their house had exploded. According the firefighters, the couple’s youngest pet, Zeus, a six-month-old whippet cross, caused the explosion. Since they didn’t catch him in the act, it’s fair to say they will have to keep an eye on him.
There are many answers to the question, “How do you know when you’re drunk?” They can range anywhere from “You fall off the floor,” to “You lose arguments with inanimate objects,” but “You stump the breathalyzer,” is new, and incidentally, sets a whole new standard.
It was all fun and games this weekend in Australia, when a naked man, 20, decided to surprise his wife by hiding in the clothes washer and got stuck. She was no doubt very surprised, but even so, police advise against ever getting inside household appliances. Also there are now 1001 uses for olive oil.