Crime Library: Criminal Minds and Methods

Man huffing gas and smoking blew up shed, beard: Arson or stupidity?

A neighbor said she heard an explosion, ran outside and found a disheveled man with blistered feet sitting on her patio. His beard was completely “burned off,” though chunks of its smoldering remains still clung to his shirt. He demanded food. Now a court will have to decide if he was reckless or just incredibly stupid.

Chase ends when suspect runs into police academy

Meet Roger Wayne Beasley Jr., 30, not the first person to flee from one cop only to run into building full of cops, nor probably the last, but that’s okay. It never gets old.

Potato-wielding robber tries to hit two stores

An unnamed Providence, Rhode Island, man attempted to rob a convenience store and then a dry cleaner on Monday, armed only with a potato “disguised as a gun.” We’re not sure what that means, but reports indicate that he was waving the potato around. He may have been planning to potato-whip the clerks, but never got the chance.

Watch: Would-be firebomber steps on own bomb

Police in Houston, Texas, are searching for man, who firebombed a car early on March 12, 2014, and set himself on fire in the process. After appearing on surveillance camera with a lit firebomb, the suspect has so much trouble smashing the car window that he steps on his own incendiary device, setting it and his pants let aflame.

Thief steals car, runs out of gas, calls owner for money

A thief in Norway deserves some sort of prize for executing the most ill-conceived car theft, possibly in history. He stole a car with no gas, no money, no license, and donning a reflective safety vest, called the owners for help.

Man tries to pay tab with trillion-dollar bill

A South Carolina man surprised the folks at Applebee’s when he tried to settle his Valentine’s Day bill with a $1 trillion note after his debit card was declined. There is no word on what his date thought of the whole thing.

Video: Teller laughs at distracted robber who brought meat cleaver to bank

In the past we have brought you stories of people falling off cliffs, and walking into canals while talking on their cell phones, but today we present a young man who set out to rob a bank, announced his intention to the teller, but became so absorbed in a call that he was easily disarmed.

Man stole vehicle to be on time for court date for stealing vehicle

They say people learn from their mistakes, but what exactly a person may or may not learn could surprise you.

Video: Smoking thief stealing gas sets cars, self on fire

No matter how much you may think you want a nicotine fix, sparking one up around an open container of gas is not worth it. The man shown in this video from Millicent, Australia, reportedly lit up a cigarette and then punched a hole in a car’s gas tank. He was found alive, with burns on his legs. He should’ve brought gum.

Incriminating ‘selfies’ help collar not-so-smart catburglar

Florida man Depree Johnson, convicted felon and alleged jewel thief, got himself collared when he posted a bunch of photos of himself on Instagram posing with cash, guns, and stolen jewelry. Though he may not have the best temperament for a thief, Johnson may have a future in photography.

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