Crime Library: Criminal Minds and Methods

Naked drunk woman shows up to jail for conjugal visit

It seems that even today, true love knows no bounds — especially after a seven-hour pub crawl.

Shamrock shame

Sobering images of St. Patrick’s Day revelers arrested.

Chainsaw-wielding guy with flower pot on head robs convenience store

A 19-year-old Australian man is in custody after allegedly robbing a convenience store on February 10, 2014, with a flower pot on his head, while threatening employees with a running chainsaw, and mooning them.

Chainsaw-wielding man in fishnets arrested for chasing down ‘Mr. Whippy’ truck

It seems that a stag party in Rangiora, New Zealand, last Saturday, December 7, 2013, had pretty much gotten out of hand by about 9:30 p.m., when a party goer wearing fishnet stockings revved up a chainsaw, held it over his head and took off after the Mr. Whippy ice-cream truck that was passing by.

Drunk Polish guy wakes up in the morgue

May this be a cautionary tale to all who drink to excess and pass out in public: your heart could stop, at least temporarily, and you might just find yourself on a slab in the morgue.

911 Caller: “I’m too drunk to get out of my car”

A woman drove home from the bar and parked two feet from the curb but wasn’t able to walk from there. She called 911 and told the operator she was “too damn drunk” to get out of her car.

Do You Need My Assistance? Drunk Man Tries to Help Cop

One thing people say about the Midwest is how nice people are there. One intoxicated Lincoln County, Wisconsin man proved no exception when he pulled up behind a police cruiser on the side of the road and offered his help. You might be able to guess what happened next.

Police in Western Australia in Search of Drunken Pig

Police in Port Hedland, Western Australia, are reportedly searching for a pig that broke into a camping couple’s cooler during the night and drank 18 of their beers. He may be irritable, hungover and probably has a pounding headache.

Babysitter Suffers Heart Attack? Nope, Just Drunk, Say Police

A Deltona, Fla., man may soon be swapping the Babysitters’ Club for Alcoholics Anonymous after allegedly passing out drunk while watching two young children.

Shaun Keith Orris: Goat Sex a Constitutional Right

Shaun Keith Orris of Waukesha, 41, Wisconsin, had knocked back about six beers and a few shots at a local bar when he decided to stand up for a constitutional right to do the dance of love with goats, supporting the old adage "whiskey don’t make liars, it just makes fools."