Crime Library: Criminal Minds and Methods

Cop who claimed erection cream caused positive cocaine test, reinstated

A Miami Beach cop was reinstated, despite having been fired for testing positive for cocaine. The detective argued that he got a sex-enhancement cream as a gift and used it not knowing that it contained cocaine. The city argued that he should have made it his business to know what he was slathering on his privates.

Man collared for riding child’s trike in the nude

When they found him he was chewing glass. He admitted to smoking cocaine — go figure.

Cocaine intercepted enroute to Vatican

A shipment of cushions with cocaine hidden inside and addressed to the Vatican was stopped at a German airport in January.

Floridian Tries to Pay Water Bill With Crack

On Monday, an as-of-yet unidentified person walked into a government office to pay a water bill, we’re guessing, because the person dropped off a sealed envelope. The only problem was that when a government employee opened that envelop, there was no money inside, well nothing overtly negotiable anyway. The envelope contained cocaine.

Man Stole Human Ashes, Mistaking them for Cocaine

Nashville, Tennessee, man William “Billy” Cantrell, 28, may have though he found the mother lode after he allegedly burgled a neighbor’s home last week, taking a game controller and a box with a bag containing a white powdery substance that turns wasn’t cocaine.

Fired Cops Offer Ridiculous Reasons for Failing Cocaine Test

Six Boston cops who were fired after testing positive for cocaine have been given their jobs back after a board ruled that the hair test used was unreliable. Four other cops who were fired for positive cocaine tests had their dismissals upheld by the board, despite their brilliant explanations for why they tested positive.

Undercover Cop Trades Underwear for Crack

It appears that crack dealers in Asheboro, N.C., aren’t cash-only. According to the Sheriff’s department, an undercover deputy was successful in trading “men’s and women’s undergarments for crack cocaine.”

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