Ivy League students may be a a lot of things, but it is refreshing to know that they are not above the humble, yet revolting, poop crime. Officials at Yale University are on the lookout for a person or persons responsible for placing human excrement in the clothes dryers at Saybrook College.
There have been at least four incidents in the past month. The first on September 6 involving urine and food in a dryer, the next day the “poopetrator” escalated first urinating on one students’ clothes then pooping in the drying when she rewashed them. On discovering her now ruined clothes, the student in question said, “I simultaneously wanted to throw up, cry and punch someone.”
According to the Yale Daily News, administrators were slow to act until “physical delivery of the excrement to the Saybrook Master’s Office” caught their attention. Since then Saybrook Master Paul Hudak announced, “We have asked our students not to leave their laundry unattended, the affected machines have been thoroughly disinfected, and we are actively seeking information about who the perpetrator might be. That’s about all we can do.”
There have been unconfirmed poopatrations in the dryers at other colleges including Silliman College. Now the students guard the laundry rooms, though they wish campus security could do it 24/7.
When asked what should be done with the guilty when caught, some students argue for expulsion, while others seem to feel rehabilitation involving — yes — mental health resources would be more appropriate.