Crime Library: Criminal Minds and Methods

Noise Complaint: Guinea Pig Sex is Too Loud

A similar cage of guinea pigs. It is not known under what moral code these particular guinea pigs live. a

A similar cage of guinea pigs, though here there is no sign stating under what particular moral code these guinea pigs live.

A couple living next door to Germany’s Münster University has complained that the cage for the guinea pig experiment kept outside by the University’s biology department smells and the animals make too much noise — specifically guinea pig sex noise.

There is reportedly a sign on the cage that says, “These animals live in non-committal, mixed-gender groups and mate with every possible partner.” Apparently they do this mostly at night and are very vocal about it. The neighbor, Pavo R., 69, said in a complaint filed with Münster’s administrative court, “The Guinea pigs are unbelievably loud and stink to high heaven. It’s unbearable.”

The court ruled on August 15, 2013, that the cage was in fact too close to the neighbor’s property line: the cage is only six-and-a-half feet from the line, when it should be 10 feet from the line. Acoustically, a yard is not going to make much of a difference when trying to block out shrieking guinea pig sex.

Even so, according to the Bild newspaper, however, the university is refusing to move the cage, probably fearing that such a move would taint the results of their research. A spokesperson for the university defiantly told Bild, “the ruling doesn’t mean the end of their renowned behavioral research.”

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