Crime Library: Criminal Minds and Methods

Chinese Porn Junkie Nearly Dies After Putting Eel in His Own Butt

The humble Asian swamp eel

The humble Asian swamp eel. This eel's identity is being proected.

A man in China nearly died after inserting a live eel, with small but sharp teeth, into his rectum after seeing it in a porn movie. Apparently the movie had no disclaimer, like:

This sex act is being performed by an experienced sex stunt professional; please do not attempt this at home.

If it had, it is possible that the unnamed man, 39, from the Guangdong province would not have willingly inserted the 20-inch long creature into his butt. It is not known how long the Asian swamp eel was up there before the man realized that his sex romp had gone horribly wrong. He came to the attention of the media after admitting himself to a hospital where he had to undergo an all-night emergency surgery to remove the panicked eel, who doctors said was “simply trying to find its way out” when it chewed through his colon, punctured his large intestine and got stuck in his body cavity. The man survived; the eel made it out alive, but died soon after. When asked, police reportedly said, “We are aware of what happened and a 39-year-old man will be interviewed over alleged animal cruelty.” Gross photos of the actual eel may be found here.

Puple Passion asparagus

Puple Passion asparagus

Perhaps the man was unaware of the 2012 case of a New Zealand man, who mystified hospital personnel when he admitted himself to the Auckland City Hospital with an eel stuck in his bottom. A spokesperson for the hospital confirmed to the press that the incident had occurred, but in the interest of patient privacy, declined to elaborate. An unnamed hospital source, however, told the New Zealand Herald, “The eel was about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus and the incident is the talk of the place. Doctors and nurses have come across people with strange objects that have got stuck where they shouldn’t be before, but an eel has to be a first.”

Maybe it was a first for New Zealand medical personnel, but not for Chinese medical personnel.

Example of a fish pedicure

Example of a fish pedicure

In 2011 Zhang Nan, 56, of Honghu in China’s Hubei province, was cleansing himself in an alternative rejuvenating spa treatment, which involved immersing oneself in a tub of eel-infested water. The eels exfoliate, that is nibble away, the dead skin cells; similar in concept to the fish pedicure shown here. All was going fine, when the man felt a sudden pain in his penis. A six-inch long eel had inserted itself into the end of his penis. He was unable to grasp the slithering creature before it made its way up his urethra. In fact, the slippery little guy, who died before being removed, got all the way into the man’s bladder before being removed.

This man was luckier than another unnamed chef, 59, from China’s Szechuan province, who in 2010 wound up in the emergency room complaining of pain, dehydration and anal bleeding. Surprise: he had an Asian swamp eel in his butt, but did not know. He knew he had eaten eel the day before. After both he and the eel died horribly, however, his friends fessed up to police saying that when their victim had passed out from drink at a party they decided that as a joke, rather than draw a penis on his face or paint his nails with polish, they would put a 20-inch-long live eel up his butt.

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