Texas man Stephen Michael Place went for the gold by allegedly assaulting his ex-wife while driving under the influence of drugs. Luckily he was unable to sustain both activities for long, and wound up crashing his Beemer into a tree.
On November 3, 2012, around 7:30 a.m. police in Harlingen, Texas, responded to a call about a disturbance involving a screaming woman running away from a man in a car. Police arrived only to find an unoccupied black BMW lodged into a tree. It took some backup and a few minutes but officers were able to track down Place, 41, who reportedly, “displayed signs of drug use.” In other words, Place was jumping all over the place, waving his arms around and talking a mile a minute. Place was given a standard field sobriety test, which, not surprisingly, “he performed pooly.” The officer soon located the victim, who turned out to be Place’s ex-wife, 43. She told them that she had been in the black BMW with Place, who had”punched her about the face and arms, while he was driving. At one point the victim attempted to exit the vehicle while it was in motion, but place grabbed her by the arm, preventing her from getting out.” That’s when Place crashed the car and the woman got away. EMS transported the victim to a local hospital, and police arrested Place for aggravated assault and driving while intoxicated. Bond was set at $2,500 for the two counts.